OBAMA

NIGGAS

w00t

Goodbye social life, hello Fable II.

Halloween

I am like 90% sure that Curt and I (probably wes too) are comping up to Santa Cruz for Halloween. I need to figure out my costume; I can go with my usual construction worker, or I can go with the cowboy, but I don't think it will look that good because I don't have my hair. I want to go with something like this but I am really stingy. Anyways, roll out the red carpet because we're coming.

Santa Cruz (This is a long one.)

          Let me give you a quick run down of the weekend. First of all, I am typing this blog about 1 cm away from my monitor because I can't see shit and I left my glasses in boy scout nation. Anyways the rundown: Drive a long ass time, get there when the party already started (dont join in), sleep, wake up, take Omar's five dollars, start beginning to look sexy for the night, get really drunk, get smoked out while waiting for the bus, meet an Irish fellow on the bus and drink all his whiskey, hit the hookah bar up and befriend the employees while Darren pukes in the bathroom, stay in the backroom and get a free hookah sesh, leave the hookah bar, spit a little bit of game and realize it's pointless, get stressed out and chain smoke 10 cigs while waiting 30 minutes for the fucking bus, almost pass out on the bus, take one rip with Spencer and run away, somehow make it on the top bunk. AND THAT'S JUST FRIDAY.

           Now Saturday was a little less interesting but fun none the less. It started off with a little seed planting in Alena's room because I thought they were going out that night. Wrong. I'm getting a little side tracked but I don't understand why you wouldn't want to party every night if you are visiting, its like a waste of a night if you don't in my opinion, but then again I don't claim to understand any girl so fuck it. Anyways, after that pointlessness, we decided to head into town to get some alcohol, long story short, I nearly shit my pants because the retard at the counter entered the wrong age (which probably was the right age haha) and the manager was called over and well yeah I still got the alcohol. We get back and start to get our drink on, everyone wants to head back to hookah and the thought of hookah makes me want to shit my lung out. So I end up going to hookah with Spencer and Mellisa (somehow we lost Wes and everyone else, don't ask me I was drunk.) and apparently we have some in depth conversations because they both love me now. We head back to House 7 to drink some more because as you know, the Jake Burke Clan doesn't stop till they drop (or pee themselves.) Anyways, I stop by to yell some random things at all the sober people in the lounge and head up to Elena's room because I know she has the sneak attack vodka. Before I bore you guys to sleep I probably vagina blocked her a good 4 times before I got my fill of vodka and I really didn't think anything of it, Melissa was with me so yeah she lives there haha.

           There are other stories too. Ask Gina about some stories. Ask Forrest about some. Ask Shaneesha about some. And ask some beezy like 2 doors to the left of Spencer's room, she had a bunch of girls in her room, Wes and I tried to work some magic, it didn't go so well. At the end of the night I saw her and she asked me where my friend was who sexually harassed her, I nearly shit myself because I remember Wes saying goodbye to her putting his arms for the most awkward hug thingy I have ever seen. I saw this coming from a mile away and took off downstairs before I could be associated with this wierdo. Anyways, I love Wes, I am probably exaggerating about everything I have just written about. Give me a break, I was still drunk on Monday night from Saturday. The only thing that could of made this weekend any better is if I could of SLAMMED (Blake <3) some beezy, but hey beggars can't be choosers. I love Santa Cruz, hope to come back soon if I am still welcome, and if not it was fun while it lasted haha.

Willie James Huff

I'm not one for sitting on my computer all day and watching YouTube videos all day, but I think that this is the funniest video I have ever seen in my entire life. My life goal is to meet the Funky Chicken.



Let me pull on your dick awhile. Ch-pimp.

Gambling.

Recently with all my free time, I basically have just decided to gamble on everything because I am bored, and quite frankly it is really fun. Anyways, I try to get a friendly game of Hold'em going all the time, play online blackjack, and you can sure as hell bet that on Sunday, I'll have money on most of the games. Me being the confident person that I am will give you an inside of how great I am. To date: I am up $120 on Morongo, about $65 on friendly Hold'em games, and $25 on sports betting. Now you may be thinking to yourself, "Jake, that isn't that much money." If you put it into my perspective it is. This weekend I will be heading to the lovely San Francisco for a crazy event called Love Fest (not the rave) and my ticket was $119, considering what I have posted above, my trip is on the Indians at Morongo. Thank you.

And so it begins....

The first blog post that I write, I am starting this out of complete boredom, but it could be productive. For one thing I would just like to say that this blog is in direct competition with Russell's shitty ass "russrulez" blog. I strongly believe that it should be called "russeldroolz" because every time I read it, I bang my head on my desk so hard I begin to drool. All joking aside, I just want keep my homies informed on my activities; I want to let them know that I havent committed suicide yet (jk) and that I am trying to keep busy.



P.S. This whole idea was Blake's idea, and I am basically doing it for him because he will no doubt be the only one that reads it.